March 9th, 2007

Blast Em!

[LJ Idol]"with these skills I will survive the end of modern civilization"

I have, through the use of video games, learned these skills that will help me survive the end of modern civilization:

Eating mushrooms make you big and strong!

There are medical supplies, money, weapons and ammo laying all over the place. All someone has to do is go pick it up.

Food laying on the ground is extremely good for you.

Generally, you do not have to actually pick up the items laying on the ground, just walking over them will pick them up for you.

If you cannot find supplies randomly laying around, then blow something up. Usually there is good stuff hiding inside of other stuff.

You can walk into anyone's house, take whatever you want, and they will not stop you.

Beware! Ninjas are everywhere.

If you talk to enough people, they will know how to find what you need.

And finally, sometimes, you can never go back.

So beware world! With these skills I will not only survive the apocalypse! I will rule the post-modern world!!!!

Whoever thought that animated help bastard in office was a good idea...

...should be hung by the neck until dead!

I work in Excel a lot.

F2 will drill you into the contents of a cell in Excel.

F1 brings up that little animated rat bastard!

They need to add a button when you right click on him. So it would look something like this:

Choose Assistant...

Just a suggestion. You think I should send it to Microsoft?

You make the punchline!

Thanks to the amazing Kontext Away, all context is removed from the following quote:

I'm tired of him popping up every single time my finger is a little too far to the left.

Now you come up with the punchline!